the man under my house

I grew up around houses. I lived in one. I watched them being built. I watched them being sold. I built my own out of Lincoln logs on my grandparent’s floor.

Two rules for Lincoln logs with Papa: whoever dumps them out of the bucket has to pick them up, and no matter what you always start your house with a strong foundation.

I was always the one who dumped them out of the bucket.

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Tonight, there was a man under the floor of my house. Right now, there is dirt all over the inside of my house, FROM UNDERNEATH MY HOUSE. Weird. I understand that my home is not built on a concrete slab of a foundation…but really…there’s just dirt under there?

So we had roaches. Apparently, the good kind. Our kind didn’t fly, or reproduce uncontrollably. Or something. Either way they were roaches and they kept drowning themselves in our sink. So today the exterminator(s) came.

The first one showed up early. He was almost done by the time we even got home from work. All I had to do when I walked in the door was sign so he could charge my credit card. Perfect.

Really, it was perfect.

When exterminator #1 was about to leave he got a call from exterminator #2, who would be inspecting for termites. I didn’t have any firm plans so I said sure, have him come as soon as he can. Later exterminator #2 called me and made sure I still wanted him to come. This was at 6:45…their window was 5:00-7:00pm…just under the wire exterminator #2, but sure come on over…should only take about 45 minutes to an hour? 

Sounds great.

Some quick texting and I had dinner with a group of friends set up for 8pm, just the perfect amount of time according to my calculations and exterminator #2’s timeline.

It ended up being one of those nights that you look around as you are talking to exterminator #2’s children on your driveway (wondering why his kids were there…so were we) and think this is just ridiculous.

Then, all of a sudden, one of the children says “I know your friend, she was our leader at VBS last week”. And you think “sure that makes sense, she must have seen Jess come home”

…except she didn’t. She recognized her picture on our fridge…which she saw from the porch through the window on our back door. Because she is a child on a service call, and kids do and say whatever they want. 

And THAT is when you realize just how weird it all is.

I didn’t get to meet friends for dinner until after 9:00…I didn’t even bother ordering because I didn’t want them to have to keep waiting. I scammed food off my friend’s plate. Not the enchiladas I was craving. Not even close.

I have a tendency to get really irritated and super frustrated when things mess up my plans. Especially when I feel like I am letting people down (it was my idea to have dinner and I barely made it there before the restaurant closed).  But as I sat on my couch thinking about the amount of stuff I have to put back in cabinets and the amount of dirt I need to get off my floor and the possibility of termites or that the wood holding up my house might rot…I prayed.

I prayed for patience and I prayed that I could show love and show grace even when I was being inconvenienced. And I hope I did that. I do know that after talking with this man’s children that I’m not going to call and complain to his supervisor about the various things I wanted to at first.

Tonight children helped me understand a little more about seeing people for more than the service they are providing me. They are awesome kids and he seems like a great dad.

I want to be better at loving people. I want to be better at seeing people the way Jesus sees them.

Loving people means being willing to be inconvenienced; to have your plans put on hold. But it also means having a pretty amusing conversation with a ten-year-old and a seven-year-old on your front porch on a Thursday night.

Plus, at the end of the day I have to remember that Jesus was a lot more than inconvenienced because of his love for me. 

drinking through a fire hose

I’m sort of “drinking through a fire hose”.

Pretty terrifying image if you let things get too literal.

Twice in my life this phrase has been thrust upon me.

The first time: a sympathetic advisor checked in on my rapid transition into a very visible and influential campus leadership position…

…the second time: today, as I used it myself to describe my relationship to the onslaught of information I am ingesting.

I called my parents tonight. My dad asked about the peach trees. I said I hadn’t made it back there to check on them in a while. He advised I “put some water on them so they don’t get stressed”.

I could have used a sprinkler…but the idea of spending the time to position it perfectly just didn’t seem right. Not when I knew that I would probably forget to turn it off and that it would come back to haunt me on this month’s water bill.  Now my ankles itch.

Twice today, first from a friend and then in a book, I interacted with the idea of meeting God through service; through every day work or tasks…or through the physical discomfort of tending the earth.

I am seeking to meet God. So now my ankles itch. And at work today I felt my face drifting to that familiar overwhelmed look. I’ve never done well at hiding emotions. I think it freaks people out. I think everything about the way I felt today was invigorating.

I’ve once again found myself in a position that I admit that I cannot do on my own. The first time this happened I was much more anxious to embrace what I was about to take on. This time I am surer that my God will equip me for wherever I am led.

Becoming MSC President at Texas A&M the year we reopened the Living Room of campus…is overwhelming for someone who dislikes public speaking and feels very awkward in social small talk situations. It literally took me to my knees. It took me to prayer because I knew that nothing I did within that position was by my own efforts or skill. It was all the grace of God. The grace God showed me in the little steps of preparation that led to that point; and the grace God showed me as every day I learned to navigate and do the very best that I could.

I can see God’s hand all over the opportunity I now have to serve at Waco Habitat for Humanity. I am learning a lot in a very short amount of time. And I love it. I love the challenge. But more than the challenge I love that as I drove around town running errands today, going through my list of things and meetings to accomplish I had to stop and pray that somehow God would help me get it all done. And God did.

The peaches outback are growing. They aren’t drinking through a fire hose the way I often do. In fact, they are about to face a very dry Texas summer. But as I stood outside tonight providing them something they desperately need I thought again about the waters in my own life. I think about the times I spend with God each day reading scripture or reading books or reflecting and I know that those times are strengthening me to always turn to back to my source as I face whatever powerful gushing may come.

Urge Day

Urge Day. It’s an elusive date…one that Katherine* and I created years ago as we bonded over our same irrational/inappropriate desires. You know the ones. Those urges that pop into your head that if you carried them out things would get dicey for your social life. Things like standing up on a table in a restaurant and singing at the top of your lungs, squirting ketchup at someone, shoving a friend/stranger off the sidewalk…the list goes on and on. The movie “The Purge” is a rip off. Of me. And Kat. Urge Day was founded/discovered/birthed YEARS ago.

Except we forgot what day it is.

I’m sure by now you’ve caught on…on Urge Day you get to do everything you want. That pesky conscience is silenced. [I should say here that I will NOT be seeing “The Purge” (Seriously…they even used the word “urge” in their title…come on). Mostly because they stole our idea…but a little because it sounds terrifying.]

I’m maybe more of a chicken/a little more responsible than this post is letting on. I spent A LOT of time thinking in terms of risk management and safety for large groups of impetuous freshmen/sophomores/grown-ups…and now, as a result, in every situation I see 15 potential ramifications to the action I am about to take. Shoving someone off a sidewalk can get you sued.  

Some people come into your life and change you for the better, simply by their existence. Kat is one of those people. My favorite life lesson that Kat’s existence has taught me thus far is wrapped up in urges. She refuses to do things out of obligation or guilt. She just really and truly doesn’t care what people think. She is trying to bring back scrunchies (which I’m against on principle, but we’ve remained friends despite this). I want to be more like Katherine. Over the years I have drifted more and more in this direction.

I require a fair amount of down time. I love reading. I really enjoy cooking. Writing is a thing in my life. Yet sometimes I feel the pressure to go out and be with large groups at every opportunity because I might miss out on something, when in actuality sitting at home sounds really nice.

Life is about balance. We can’t act on every urge but we can pick the ones that are important to us…and it doesn’t have to be the same urge every time. We can choose the ones that help keep us sane for that moment. We can be honest and realize that trying to do everything doesn’t bring fulfillment. Sometimes we need the quiet solitude; or time with one good friend to reconnect with who we actually are and face areas where we might need to grow.

Last night I spent time with a lot of the people I love here in Waco, and it was perfect…and tonight when offered another night out…I chose to clean the house, hang out with the Roomz, cook dinner, watch Downton Abbey, and write this blog. There was a point tonight when Mumford was blaring through the kitchen and I thought about how happy I was about following this evening’s urge and how glad I was to be in that moment.

Happy Saturday. Happy Urge Day.

 

 

 

*This is Katherine. Or Kat. Or Kafs. Yes, those are socks on our hands. Friendship socks. Yes, we did recite a secret friendship chant the first time we put them on. Also, that’s me on the left.